Love has a funny way of entering and exiting our lives. It often makes us laugh but at times cry. After each love encounter, we have epiphanies of mistakes, accomplishments, and good times. Experience it all as you follow this blog.
7.30.2010
Good News
http://www.examiner.com/x-61996-Charlotte-Relationship-Advice-Examiner
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7.27.2010
Passing Me By
It's that girl, this girl, and the girl over there.
Love keeps passing me by.
I pray and make a list.
I have talks with the evangelist....
But Love keeps passing me by.
Stay true to my virtue and values.
Always have hope and don't sing the wedding blues.
Yet Love keeps passing me by.
I see the bells, the rings, and flowers,
The dresses, the cake, and the columns that tower.
Is it me?
No.......
It's not me...
It's the friend, a cousin, a stranger, or ex-lover.
Love keeps passing me by.
Written By: A. Stinson
7.26.2010
Illusions of Love
Illusions differ from person to person but there is one thing that all who share in these illusions have in common: the perception of these illusions are so real that only outsiders can see the reality. Friends, family, and other loved ones sense the truth and remind us of it, but we can be so deceived by the illusion that we believe no one, only the fantasy.
So let's face the reality. At some point, we've been in an illusion of love.
- You believed that the person you loved wanted to be with you the way you wanted to be with him/her.
- You believed the person you loved had changed and was a new person.
- You believed your man/woman was not cheating on you.
- You believed the person when he/she said, "I want to be with you" though he/she never asked to be in a relationship.
- You believed having a child would change the relationship.
- You believed changing yourself would make him/her love you more.
The list can go on, but it tells us is that illusions of love only serve us FALSE HOPE. It traps us into belittling ourselves and failing to realize our self worth. It prevents us from moving on because the illusion has made us feel safe and comfortable. Because of the false hope and deception it provides, some remain in the illusions of love for years. For the others who find reality, it hurts. It saddens you to know the truth and deepens the scars in your broken heart. But do realize a better day will come. When you find the person who is for you, he/she will fulfill all of your fantasies of how REAL love should and does exist.
7.16.2010
The Twilight Debate
For those not up to speed on these two characters, Edward is very chivarlous. He captivates women with his genuine charm as he professes his love and affection towards his lovely lady any moment he can get. He believes in virtue and bliss. While his rival, Jacob is playful yet masculine. Jacob displays his passionate feelings through words, jealousy, and anger. Let us not forget, he delights in the sex appeal.
We find these characteristics and learn to love some of them, but when discussed, most women automatically side with "Team Edward." So the question is - Why? Why do women pick Edward? Is it because he shows the kind of love we yearn for in a mate? Is he the man we want our spouse to be? Is it because he truly reminds us of the loved one we already have?
And what about the ones who pick Team Jacob. Is Jacob chosen because he's the Mr. Right Now who we want to fulfill every lustful desire with? Are we on his team because of his masculinity? Or is he chosen because some of us have falling so much out of love with love that we don't believe the Edwards exist; therefore, settling for Jacob?
Either way, the choice is yours. You have chosen. Now, you must figure out the reason for your selection and reflect to find an epiphany within your love.
7.13.2010
He is...I am...
He is my love.
He is my everything.
I am his muse.
He is my king.
Eternal bliss....is what this love brings?
Written by: Yours Truly (A. Stinson)
7.11.2010
The Night Rider
The Mournful Night Rider: This person escapes into the closet of sorrow. Tears flow and cries are made with this night rider. Whether it is over the loss of someone, disappointment, or regret, no one may recognize the solemn side of this person unless it is surfaced to the light.
The Sexual Night Rider: This person gets his/her thrill by letting go of any inhibitions and lives for the pleasurable moment. Now there's a little bit of the Sexual Night Rider in us all. You could be the creeper, the booty-caller, the one who dresses up for the spouse, or the one who has sexual desires but saving it for marriage. Why deny, if you know it is true.
Maybe you fit more with the Clubbing Night Rider. This rider just enjoys letting loose and having a good time. Life is about getting the job done in the day and drinking and dancing at night. Carpe Diem!
Now into the more logical night riders.
The Happy, Safe Night Rider: The person who could hang out at Jillians, watch a movie, or eat at a bar. Anything can be of good fun as long as it is safe, and everyone is enjoying themselves. These are the people that you see in the light who always have something positive to say and are always smiling. Though it may annoy you, you know they keep the world going.
The last night rider is the Family Night Rider. This is the rider that at some point in our lives, we long for if we do not have it. At night, this rider is at home with the family. He/she has had family dinner time, has played a few board games, and has tucked the little ones in. The rest of the night is spent with delightful, quality time with the spouse.
Our lives are entangled with so many things, that at some point we may fit the definition of each night rider. Some of you may fit into other types of night riders. The goal is to know yourself and act according to the person you want to be. It is who we are that attracts a certain type of person. If you don't want to be the Mournful Night Rider who attracts unstable people or part of the Sexual Night Rider who attracts the person who likes friends with benefits, now is the time to make a change.
7.09.2010
Relationship Insanity
Relationship insanity occurs when you're with someone and somewhere in the relationship, you and your partner repeat the same actions, thinking there will be a different outcome, but of course, there's not.
For the daters, do you ever find yourself always being the one to call the guy/girl, planning the date, only to get ignored or stood up? If you do this with every girl/guy you meet, you are putting yourself in relationship insanity. The person who truly deserves your time will make more than enough effort to date you without thinking twice about it. So have patience and wait for it.
Think about the "on and off" relationship. While the partners may change an action or two, more break ups only signify relationship insanity. The major change to break the pattern is to give the relationship a complete rest. After all, if it is meant to be, it will be, just not now.
So we hit on those love me, love me not relationships, but what about the people who are already couples? Yes, you may have relationship insanity too. Ever have the same conversation over and over again. You all say different things, but in the heart of the conversation, it may be the same topic. Whether it's about money, sex, chores, quality time, friends, or family, that topic always appears. The best thing to do is come up with a solution that BOTH partners can agree on. If someone brings it up, there has to be someone who will say "We've already solved this issue, and unless the solution has been unproductive, we don't need to discuss it again." Now, I'm not saying deny hearing each other's feelings, but you have to admit that some people just like to talk, and if you let them, they will.
The truth of the matter is that the hope we feel within the depths of our souls may put us in these insanity cycles. It is not the hope that is wrong but our mentality. Sometimes we are hoping for the wrong things. Hope that one day, you will meet the person you deserve, but don't put you're hope in something you already know won't work. Hope that you and your spouse will accept and understand each other for who you all are, not that you can change each other. Think about your perspectives on what you hope for and things may begin to change for the better and not the worse.
7.08.2010
Good Enough
At what point though, do we feel like we are not good enough?
Is it when your family gives you the silent treatment, when you receive a rejection letter in the mail, or when you get hassled daily by your boss? Keep thinking...there you've nailed it. It is that moment in life when you think you've found that unconditional love, that love that lasts forever, but reality kicks in and you see that, that's not the case. Why? Because this person who gives you the butterflies and makes you feel that puppy love over and over again constantly reminds you that no matter what you do, you could always do better. You're not good enough. It is a cycle that begins somewhere in life and doesn't stop until you realize you're the essential ingredient that keeps it going. At the most, one can call it perfectionism. In a relationship, it is the cause of a broken heart in every love encounter. For those who still deny they have fallen in this trap, this is what it looks like.
You're good enough to have sex with but not good enough to marry.
You're good enough to hang out with but not good enough to be my boy/girlfriend.
You're good enough to talk to but only when I feel like I don't have anybody else.
You're good enough to have my kids but not good enough for me to stay with you.
It hurts, but it is the truth. I've had the epiphany that I'm lured to people who make me feel like I can do better, like my actions, love, friendship were/are not good enough. I have constantly lowered my standards on how I want a relationship/friendship to be in order to make the relationship work. Whether it always saying, "Yes" or acting less intelligent, and none of it worked. It never worked. Unfortunately, the moment I found someone different, I didn't completely handle it. I feel as though I could have inflicted the "not good enough" feelings on someone else. I sincerely hate that, that may be the case, and that I may be jaded in a way that I may have jaded others.
So it's time to stop the cycle. Let's shake "the not good enough" clothing off and find what we truly love. Let's find the person who knows how worthy he/she is to get our love. But first things first, we have to realize our worth, and once we do that, the rest will come.